TMI Tuesday: August 12, 2014

At the TMI Tuesday bar someone walks up to you and utters the following lines, Tell us how you would respond.  (Let me start by saying that I am NOT a fan of pick up lines... but these were fun.)

1. Would you like to fake an orgasm with me tonight?

I'm not going to waste my time getting undressed if I have to fake it... and no one fakes with me, I deliver.

2. Did you just fart because you are blowing me away?

Ugh... gross.  That definitely won't get you laid.

3. You’re hot. I’m ugly. Let’s make average babies. (Would you accept?)

I don't think so...

4. I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.

Hmmm... that doesn't sound like such a bad idea.  (This one would warrant a lip bite & grin.)

5. You must work at Subway, ’cause you just gave me a footlong.

I would probably roll my eyes and walk away on this one.

6. You look like a hard worker, I have an opening you can fill.

So you like anal too?

7. I don’t feel good, I think I need a shot of penis-illin.

Poor baby... I'm not packing though.

8. If I told you I worked for UPS, would you let me handle your package?

Bahahaha... only if you are in uniform.

Bonus:  Belly up to the bar. What’s your pleasure? Which one drink would you order and why?

Give me an After Sex... it sounds smooth and relaxing.  A good choice after a long hard day.

Slippery NippleNo one can miss the innuendo in this drink’s name. It is comprised of equal parts Bailey’s Irish Cream and butterscotch schnapps. There are many different drink names that start with ‘Slippery’, most contain either Bailey’s Irish Cream or butterscotch schnapps.

After SexThis drink is made with vodka, crème de bananas, and orange juice.

Leg SpreaderNot for the faint of heart, there is nothing but liquor in this drink. It is made of four equal parts of nothing but alcohol: tequila, vodka, gin, and rum. Proceed with caution!

All Night LongThe inference in this name is probably what most people wish for, but one or two or these will have you passed out on the floor all night long. It contains sweet and sour mix, coconut rum, Kahlua, crème de cacao, and pineapple juice.

Sloe Comfortable ScrewThere are many drinks that play upon the pronunciation of sloe gin—pronounced slow gin. The rest of the name is a pun on all the other ingredients as well, to create a name that is as suggestive as you could want. Sloe gin for ‘slow,’ Southern Comfort for ‘comfortable,’ and orange juice and vodka for ‘screw’—as in a Screwdriver.

TMI Tuesday 

TMI Tuesday: August 5, 2014

1. You walk into a party full of friends. One of them suddenly and quickly strips down naked. Which area of your naked friend’s body do you check out first?

On a woman, her boobs.  On a man, his stomach.

2. Have you ever masturbated in bed when a platonic friend or relative was sleeping in the same room or bed?

Yes... though it didn't stay platonic after I got caught.

3. When was the first time you had a nocturnal orgasm aka a wet dream?
(Yes women have wet dreams read more…)

I have only ever had one or two wet dreams... I was in my mid-twenties when the first one happened.

4. Have you ever been caught naked by someone?

Too many times to count!  I shed my clothes every chance I get, so it is pretty common.

5. Think of your dearest friend, do you think they are sexy? Why or why not?

Yes... sexy look, sassy attitude, and edgy style.

6. If you had no choice, how many days do you think you could abstain from sex including masturbation?

If I had no choice, then I guess as long as I had to.  I have abstained from all but masturbation for ten months now... though not happily.

Bonus: What gets you wet faster, phone sex or sexting?

Sexting... people seem to be more free in what they say when sexting versus talking.

 TMI Tuesday 

TMI Tuesday: July 29, 2014

Sexual Practices

1. How much sex is too much sex? Explain.

Hmmm... I suppose there is such as thing as too much sex.  If you can't maintain your responsibilities because you can't stop having sex long enough, then that would qualify as too much.  The lesson in this:  make time in your busy sex life for normal life tasks (eating, sleeping, showering, etc).

2. According to the Kinsey Institute, 18-29 year olds have sex an average of 112 times per year, 30-39 year olds an average of 86 times per year, and 40-49 year olds an average of 69 times per year (how appropriate!)

a. Which group of averages would you prefer to belong?

The 18-29 year old group!

b. Based on your age (if listed), find your group above. Would you say you are well below, pretty close to or high above your group’s average for having sex per year?

I am in the 18-29 year old group.  Generally I would say that I am high above my group's average.  However, this year I am WAYYYYY below it.  :-/

3. Swinging (defined here)–have you tried it? Will you try it? Do you hope/wish to try it before you die?

I haven't tried it, though I am intrigued by the concept.  I like the idea of swinging.  When I am emotionally involved in a relationship though, I become a greedy bitch.  So I don't mind being shared, but I am not willing to share my partner.  Talk about double standards, huh?

4. What is “having sex”? According to YOU and prior to this TMI Tuesday did you consider:
– Masturbation as having sex? No... though I do sometimes refer to it as sex with myself.
– Performing oral sex as having sex? Depends... I guess.

5. When was the last time you received oral sex?

Over ten months ago was the last time I saw ANY action... separation & divorce is a bitch!

Bonus:  What is it?

Ancient Aztec fertility sculptures...

TMI Tuesday: July 22, 2014

Can we talk… relationships?

1. What is the first thing that pops into your mind when you see an attractive person?

I wonder if they can carry on a good conversation... I'm turned on by a connection more than just looks.

2. What is your idea of a dream date? Describe the person and the type of date experience.

This is a tough one.  It would have to be with someone who makes me feel beautiful, keeps a giddy schoolgirl grin on my face, and can carry on an amazing conversation.  We would go out for an amazingly delicious dinner first.  It would be followed by coffee and endless conversation, maybe with a walk around some artsy part of the city.  Simple, yes... corny, probably... on point, absolutely.

3. How many serious relationships have you had? Were you in love?

Four... yes, I loved each of them.  To be honest, they will each forever have a piece of my heart.

4. How many casual sexual relationships have you had?

Considering that I don't usually equate sex with emotion... quite a few over the years.

5. What will ruin a relationship for you?

Dishonesty, cheating, and abuse...

Bonus: What is your definition of sexy?

Sexy is being confident, compassionate, witty, intelligent, and humble... all rolled into one.  Piercing eyes and a killer smile don't hurt either.

TMI Tuesday: July 15, 2014

Party Fears

Good News: You’ve been invited to party!
Bad News: You have certain concerns. . .

1) Arrival. Are you afraid (a) that you can’t find the address, (b) that you will be early, (c) that you will be late, (d) other?

Definitely A!  I am extremely directionally challenged... meaning that I once ended up in Alabama trying to get home to Atlanta.  Yes, it is bad!

2) Clothing. Are you afraid (a) you will be underdressed, (b) overdressed, (c) dressed for the wrong activity, (d) don’t have items that you need, e.g. swimsuit, (3) other?

C... I am usually in stilettos. This is great in the city, but can prove impractical for outdoor barbecues out here in the country.

3) Drinks. Are you afraid that (a) you will drink too much, (b) that you will drink too little, (c) other people will drink too much, (d) there won’t be anything good that’s non-alcoholic, (e) other?

A... I have been known to overindulge in my alcohol on occasion.

4) Food. Are you afraid that (a) the food will be too new-fangled and trendy, (b) the food will be conventional and boring, (c) there won’t be anything you want to eat, (d) there won’t be any food and you are hungry, (e) other?

E... that there will be yummy food and I will be starving... and I will pig out!

5) Music. Are you afraid that (a) the music will be too loud, (b) there won’t be music or you won’t be able to hear it, (c) the music will be of a new genre you don’t like or can’t understand, (d) the music will be boring oldies, (e) other?

None of it... I love all kinds of music, loud or quiet.

6) Later. Are you afraid that (a) the party will end too soon and it won’t have been worth the trouble, (b) the party will go on too long, (c) other?

A... if I am in the partying mood then I can go all night.

7. Afterward. Are you afraid that (a) you will end up in bed with the wrong person and the sex will be bad, (b) the you will end up in bed with the wrong person and the sex will be great, (c) that you will end up in bed with the right person and there won’t be any sex, (d) that you will end up in bed with the right person who wants sex but you are too tired, (e) other?

A... if I am going to end up in bed with the wrong person, then I at least want mind blowing sex out of the deal!

TMI Tuesday

TMI Tuesday: July 8, 2014

Summer Is Here

It’s high summer! Here are some questions about the hot season.

1. Summer clothes are more revealing than winter clothes. What is the skimpiest outfit that you wear out in public?

Short, tight little dresses are the skimpiest these days... and right now that is even a stretch since I just had another baby.

2. What summer outfits turn you on when you see other people wearing them?

For women, I love to see things that are cut low in the back and sexy dresses with stilettos.  For men, I love thin button down shirts with a few buttons left undone... with low hanging jeans, showing that delicious curve in the front...

I am a sucker for these hips... is there a specific word for the definition?

3. Summer is hot! Sex is hot! Do you find that hot summer weather leads to hot summer sex?

Generally, my answer would be yes!  Less clothes equals less hassle to get down to business anytime, anywhere.  

4. It’s summer and oysters are off the menu (or maybe not, see
http://www.salishseafoods.com/pages/myths.html). What foods are the
aphrodisiacs of summer?

Chocolate... wine... more chocolate!

5. Summertime is hot and thirsty time. What is your favorite summer drink, alcoholic or not?

Coconut water... I am hooked!  It has to be original flavor though...

6. Two traditional vacation destinations to beat the summer heat are the mountains and the shore. Where do you like to go?

I love the beach... digging my toes in the sand, feeling the breeze on my face, listening to the waves crash on the shore... damn, I need a vacation!

7. Summertime is road trip time. Do you like to go on vacation by car?

I have always been a fan of road trips... if they are spontaneous, they are even better!

8. Summertime is experiment time. What are you going to do this summer that you’ve never done before?

Hmmm... not sure on this one.

9. Summertime can be hazardous. What summer threat do you fear most? Possibilities: bugs, wildlife, heat, lightning…

Snakes and spiders... EWWWW!

10. Summertime is summer fling time. Have you ever had a summertime romance? How far did it go?

Yes... I met him on the beach (where he was working) while I was on vacation.  I moved down to be with him about a month after we met... and we ended up being together for five years...

Bonus: Summertime is Festival time–music, art, seafood, and more. What festivals have you attended or will you attend?

I love attending festivals!  So far this year, I've been to the St. Patty's Festival and Hot Chicken Festival (yes, this does exist)... 

TMI Tuesday: July 1, 2014

Life

1. We learn from our mistakes. What sex or sexual mistakes have you made and learned from, What was the lesson learned?

Hmmm... If you are going to be chained to a massage table for hours of hardcore fucking, take breaks from the cuffs so you have feeling in your arms when you are finished.  Also, lube is a must for anal sex... ALWAYS!  I learned both of these lessons the hard way.

This is oh so true for me... but not on these lessons!

2. What risk (sexual or not) would you take if you knew you would not fail?

I would love to write an autobiography.  I have lived a crazy life and would love to give others' hope by sharing my story.  I think it could make people laugh, cry, and sit on the edge of  their seats.  Maybe someday... and yes, it would include a great deal of sex!

3. At what time in your life have you felt most passionate and alive?

One of these times was the week of my wedding to my wife.  We were in another country and spent the trip exploring the city and each other.  There was so much love and passion that every experience was amplified and everything was made more beautiful.  

4. What one piece of advice about sex would you offer the virgin you?

Does this mean that I can claim Madonna's "Like A Virgin" as my theme song again... LOL.  No one ever cosigns that one for me!  I would tell my inner virgin to learn about her body, what feels good to her, and embrace her sexuality to make HERSELF feel good.  Knowledge is power and there is nothing to be ashamed of.

5. What are you avoiding?

Switching the blog over to be self-hosted... it is going to happen soon though!

6. By what age should you know what you want to do with your life?

I am not the type of person that believes there is a one size fits all answer for things.  I think people should live fully, try lots of things, have lots of experiences, and do what they enjoy in life... regardless of when they figure that out or if they ever settle into one thing.  For me personally, I have had done many things that I love and am passionate about.  I go where life takes me... and try my best to enjoy the ride.

Bonus: Do you think you’ve experienced true intimacy in a relationship?

Yes, with one person.  I have loved many, but feel true intimacy was only experienced with one.  Open communication, desire to truly know one another, facing fears hand in hand, working together to heal and move forward... two willing participants, head over heels in love, doing the work.  It was the most amazing experience...

TMI Tuesday

TMI Tuesday: June 24, 2014

For many areas of the world, this time of year is graduation time at formal institutions of learning. Thus, it is a good time for us to think back about our own education.

School Days

Below is a list of academic fields of study. For as many of these disciplines as possible, share a memory. It could be something that happened in class, an Aha! moment, something about the teacher or something that was helpful later in life.

Thanks to virtualsin.wordpress.com for this week’s TMI Tuesday theme.

1. English

I am a complete English freak... I love to read and like for things to be written correctly in any correspondence.  I suppose I have  my English teachers through the years to thank for this.

2. History

I remember that I enjoyed AP History in high school... though I don't remember what I learned.

3. Foreign Language (French, Spanish, Latin…)

I took two years of Spanish in school... we all cheated, so none of us learned any of it.  I learned much more marrying a Latin man.  And let me just say that I adore being talked dirty to in Spanish!

4. Psychology

I have always loved learning about the mind and why people are the way they are.  I use all of this info all the time...

5. Mathematics

I hate math... and I am sad to report that I don't do most math in my head anymore thanks to my dependency on calculators.

6. Physics

Not interested... never have been.

7. Chemistry

The only chemistry I am interested in has to do with the sparks flying between me and a lover!

8. Biology

Who knows... I don't remember much anymore.

9. Gym

I cried every day in elementary school so I didn't have to go to gym class... needless to say, I'm not at all athletic.

Bonus: Did you have sex education class in school? What grade or age did you have this class? Thinking back on the sex education class what was the most surprising thing you learned? Was this class helpful to you in your sex life?

I'm pretty sure we did NOT have sex ed in school.  I think one of our classes briefly mentioned STDs in high school... maybe freshman year.  Growing up in the country, sex was always a taboo subject or at the very least, one that you got minimal information on.  Looking back, I think if our bodies, sex, and sexual health were more openly taught and discussed, we would have been more likely to explore safely and knowingly instead of fumbling our way through it.  

TMI Tuesday

TMI Tuesday: June 17, 2014

Some things to think about

1. Name something you always carry with you?

My cellphone... doesn't everyone these days?  Also a ponytail holder because I stay so hot all the freaking time!

2. Is there anyone on your mind at the moment? Who? Why?

Not in a good way... Someone who keeps popping up despite my distance.

3. If you were to be remembered for one thing, what would it be?

I know it would not be for my grace or amazing singing voice... I hope it would be for always trying to help others.

4. Tell us something new that you learned in the last month?

That just when you think things can't get much crazier, people can go to a whole new level.  No matter how much you think you can change someone or love them to a better them, you just are not that powerful.  You would think I would have learned this years ago, but I don't just make the same mistakes twice... I make them five or six (usually more) times to be sure.  I like to think that my experiences add to my character...

5. What are you pretending not to know? Why?

Hmmm... I'm not telling on this one.  I know all kinds of secrets that I plead the fifth on. 

6. Are you happy with other people’s perception of you?

To be perfectly honest, I don't generally care about other people's perception of me.  Some people think I'm great... others think I'm a total bitch... and plenty just think I'm a kinky bitch with sex on the brain.  I own all of the titles proudly.

7. Are you generally focused on today or tomorrow?

I am a planner, so I am generally focused on tomorrow.  I am trying really hard to be more present in the moment though...

Bonus:  How do you eat Oreos? Which method best matches your Oreo cookie eating style?
a. Pick it up, bite into it.  (Preferably submerged in a glass of milk prior.)
b. Twist it open, eat each half separately
c. Twist it open, eat the frosting, then eat each chocolate cookie half separately.

TMI Tuesday

TMI Tuesday: June 10, 2014

Pick one. You must pick one. You can elaborate on your answer if you want, but you must pick one.

1. Are you male or female or other?  

Female

2. Dog or cat?  

Definitely dog - I am not a cat person, at all.

3. Peanut butter or wasabi peas?  

Peanut butter - I LOVE it!  I eat it by the spoonful straight from the jar.  Mmmm...

4. Group midnight nude swim or ‘mooning‘ strangers?  

I love midnight nude swimming...  it feels sensual and free.  I would swim naked over clothed every time!

5. Sneaker Pimps or IAMX?

I actually like both... if I have to pick just one then I choose IAMX.

6. Bologna or Braunschweiger?

Bologna... fried with mustard on white bread.

7. Vanilla or kinky?

Kinky of course... whips & chains excite me.

8. Rocky road or chocolate ice cream?

I would rather have mint chocolate chip than either... but rocky road if I must choose.

9. Red M&M or green M&M

10. Pepsi or Coke?

Coke for me... though I like Pepsi's ass better!

11. Mini Cooper or Fiat Abarth?

Fiat Abarth

Battle of European Legends

12. Pleasure or pain? Why? Explain yourself please.

It has to be a mix of the two.  I only enjoy the pain if it is with the pleasure.  

Bonus:  Pick one – Participate in the London World Bike Naked Ride or Japan’s Festival of the Steel Phallus affectionately known as Penis Fest properly called Kanamara Matsuri.

Definitely Penis Fest.  Why?  Because I suck at riding a bike (and not in the kinky kind of way).

TMI Tuesday

TMI Tuesday – June 3, 2014

My Life Is A Reality TV Show

The following are real-life American and United Kingdom reality television shows. The questions are based on the premise of the corresponding reality show.

1. (Sex Sent Me To The ER) Did you ever have to seek medical attention for a sex-relation problem (aside from routine care, STDs etc)?

No... luckily I haven't been injured.  There have been a couple of close calls though.

2. (Survivor) Have you ever been stranded anywhere with a group of strangers?

We got stuck in a horrible traffic jam on the interstate... stopped dead in our tracks for hours.  Everyone got out of their cars and made the most of it.  We cranked up the music, busted out the booze, and danced the afternoon away until it was time to move again.  

3. (The Amazing Race) Have you ever had a free-form, play-it-by-ear international trip or done a scavenger hunt whose clues/challenges took you out of your home country or state?

Um, definitely not... do normal people do this in everyday life?

4. (Marriage Boot Camp) Have you ever had group couples therapy? How did that work out?

No... though I can imagine it would not work out well.  I have done marriage counseling before... it didn't work out well either.

5. (Airline) Have you been involved in a contentious situation with any airline personnel. Tell us what happened?

No... I've only flown on three trips. 

6. (What Not To Wear) Have you ever had a complete makeover–hair, fashion/wardrobe, huge weight-loss? Did you do this on your own or did a spouse, friend, significant other encourage the change? Tell us about your transformation.

No... the most drastic transformation I've had was cutting my hair from low on my back to about two inches all over years ago.

7. (How Clean Is Your House?) Have you ever had a guest or relative visit your home and blatantly criticize its cleanliness, orderliness and/or actually clean or rearrange things with or without your permission?

No... I have had people come over and laugh at how much I clean and how everything has to be in it's place.  They thought it was hilarious to turn things just a bit so they were out of place.

Bonus:  What is it? Explain how you would use it.

This is a portable male masturbation device.  It is great for road trips and long nights working in the garage.  Simply plug the cord into the cigarette lighter for power.  The penis goes into the masturbation sleeve and a button is pushed on the handle for light suction and vibration.  

TMI Tuesday