Spice Up Your Sex Life - Outside the Bedroom

Let's be honest, sometimes sex can get quite predictable - especially if you are in a long term relationship.  You know the story, same place, same positions, same things said.  

This doesn't mean that the sex is bad... it just fizzles out to a boring routine.  So what can you do about it?  One option is to take your bedroom play outside the bedroom... even outside the house!  

Next time you want to spice things up with your honey... try getting frisky in a semi-public place.  Be careful to use discretion... nothing ruins a steamy moment like the cops being called. 

Where have you gotten frisky outside the bedroom?  

Sex Positions for Ninjas: 6 Skills That'll Give You Bragging Rights

(Courtesy of Kinkly.com)

Takeaway: These positions require unusual strength, agility and concentration. In other words, they aren't for amateurs.

Source: Wisky/Dreamstime.com

Also note that while I recognize that (most of) these positions can be done by two men or two women, for ease of use, I chose to use the terms that would apply to the writer, interspersed with generic terms like "performer" and "receiver." 

The Cartwheel

In this acrobatic position, the receiver stands on his head, against a wall, using his hands to steady him (like he’s about to do a cartwheel). The performer stands in front of him with her back to him and her feet at either side of his head. She then bends over and allows her partner to insert his penis. Yes, really.

Difficulty: 9

Challenge: In this position, the male partner has to remain balanced, breathing and relaxed enough to stay hard AND not faint from the blood rushing to his head. His partner doesn't have it easy either: She has to set the momentum while keeping him at an angle that’s comfortable for both while not tipping him over.

Pair of Tongs

In this position, the woman lays on the bed sideways with half her torso hanging over the side of the bed, supporting herself with one arm on the floor. (For an added challenge, do this freestanding, as shown below.) The man, stands facing her and grabs hold of her waist. He then uses his leg to hold down her lower leg, while he holds her upper leg and inserts his penis.



Difficulty: 5
Challenge: The woman is going to have to have fantastic upper body strength and balance to stay steady here. Her partner won't exactly be slacking here either, as he'll have to support much of her weight too. It might just be more exciting than a typical yoga class though.

The Big and Little Dipper

These two require strength, but they aren't entirely unrealistic. In the Big Dipper position, the man sits on the couch, stretches his arms behind him and puts his feet on a coffee table or ottoman. The woman straddles him, while he uses his arms to push himself up and down, hence the name. Then there’s the Little Dipper, in which these positions are essentially reversed. The man lays supine on top of a big pillow on the floor next to the couch. The woman assumes the position of the male in the Big Dipper except she rises and falls onto her partner's erect penis.








Difficulty: 8
Challenge: The person with the penis (or a strap-on!) has to be in impeccable shape to do what your personal trainer might call "triceps dips" for any length of time. In addition, the person doing the work has to have the concentration of a monk to remain balance and continue to hit the target. There are way too many opportunities to miss here and thrust a buttock down on an erect penis. And that, my friends, is how your evening turns into date night at the emergency room.

The Overpass (or the Torture Twister)

The fact that this one has the word "torture" in its name should provide a hint as to its difficulty. Here, the woman (or receiver) lays on her back and lifts her feet up and over her head so her toes touch the floor behind her head. Her thighs are resting against her torso and her knees are by her ears. The man (or the performer) straddles himself over the woman’s genitals, putting one foot by the receiver's head and one by her side or back. The performer then thrusts, like he’s getting up and down off a chair, into the anus or vagina.




Difficulty: 10
Challenge: The woman or receiver, must stay steady while her internal organs are being scrunched against her ribcage and her partner's thrusts put continued pressure on her shoulders and neck. But he has challenges too. He must angle his upward facing cock into a downward position for entry or bend over his partner so he can enter at a more convenient angle. This position is not for amateurs. If you are able to complete it without injury, I give you serious props. If you can manage to enjoy it, you're a true sex ninja.

The Booster Seat

In this position, both partners face the couch or bed with the woman (or receiver) in front of the man (or performer). While holding her waist, she puts her feet on the bed while he holds her up so that she appears to be sitting in a chair. The man can enter her vaginally or anally, and help support her as she moves up and down.



Difficulty: 7
Challenge: The male (or the female with a strap-on) definitely needs incredible upper arm strength and the woman (or receiver) needs thighs of steel. Momentum is the key here, but if you are in-sync and in-shape you might be able to pull this one off.

The Anal Bumper Cars

Whee ... this one sounds like fun. But I'm not sure it's possible - or a good idea. Here, the lovers position themselves stomach down, facing in opposite directions with the man (the performer) on top. The woman should shimmy down toward her partner's feet so that his penis is lined up with the anus, as she is face down under him, with legs spread apart. He then proceeds to enter her anally.




Difficulty: 10
Challenge: I cannot imagine any situation where this might be physically possible. Even if there's a penis long enough for this out there, it would be at a downward angle, which, as we know, is the exact opposite natural direction for an erect penis. If you try this one, be very careful not to stretch the performer’s cock farther than it should comfortably go or you might end up at the emergency room (again) making up far-fetched stories.

Go Forth and Be (Cautiously) Adventurous

Adventurous sex positions can make for a pretty exciting time - as long as no one gets hurt. These positions aren't for amateurs, so unless you've done a stint in the Cirque du Soleil, you might be better off trying something new - but slightly less ambitious. So, save the ninja antics for porn stars. After all, you can always watch.

If you’re a sex geek like me, you’re probably familiar with all the different positions for sex and have tried, well, most of them. But guess what? I just found some sexual positions that confounded, yet intrigued, me. Positions that, unless you had mad skills of strength, agility and concentration while sexually aroused, you wouldn’t be able to pull off. So, for those adventurous (or curious) people out there, here are six impractical positions for sexual ninjas. I've rated them in difficulty from one to 10. 

Boost Your Sexual Arousal

You may have heard of them... but do you really know what arousal creams and gels are?

An arousal cream/gel is applied to the clitoris, vaginal lips, g-spot, or penis to enhance sexual arousal.  This is accomplished by increasing blood flow to the genitals and making the nerves more responsive.

Many arousal products contain menthol, mint oil, clove oil, or niacin.  These ingredients give a warm & cool tingle by enhancing blood flow to the area it is applied to.  These sensations can be very stimulating.  Some arousal gels contain L-argenine, which increases blood flow and is also used to speed wound healing.  (Products containing niacin and clove oil should not be used by anyone with an STD, aspirin allergy, or on blood thinners.)

Arousal products can be a great asset to anyone interested in increasing their sexual arousal and experimenting with new forms of pleasure and sensations.  They are also helpful for those experiencing sexual arousal issues such as low libido.  Arousal creams can also help to counter some of the sexual side effects of some prescription medications, such as anti-depressants.

To use an arousal cream or gel, apply a pea-sized amount to the clitoris, vaginal lips, or penis during foreplay.  If needed, you can always apply more after the first application to achieve the desired results.

Some of my favorites are:

Cleopatra's Secret Crème
(women)

        Max Pleasure Gel for Men
           (men)

Friends with Benefits

Many have tried... but how many people are able to actually be friends with benefits and not get emotions involved?  Is is truly possible?  Many people say yes.

I found an article by the New York Times about a study on this (it appeared in an issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior).  One of the points it makes is that this type of arrangement brings its own stress with it.  This stress was mainly cited as the fear that one of the people involved would develop more emotional feelings or they wouldn't be reciprocated if the other person did.

The article stated "One-tenth of these relationships went on to become full-scale romances, the study found.  About a third stopped the sex and remained friends, and one in four eventually broke it off - the sex and the friendship.  The rest continued as friends-with-benefits relationships."

My own experience with this arrangement was actually a good one.  I have to say it went better then a lot of my relationships actually.  Now don't laugh... I have issues with emotions sometimes.  :-)

Have you ever had a 'friend with benefits'?  How did it work out for you?

I recently had the joy of attending a training with sex educator Ducky DooLittle... I have to say she is amazing!  Since hearing her present the training, I have been greedily indulging in tons of her articles.  I came across this one today and couldn't resist sharing.  Enjoy!

Sex and Circumcision: A Lady's Guide

By Ducky Doolittle, April 5, 2013

Takeaway: About 75 percent of men are foreskin free, which means that there are quite a number of women who may not have a lot of experience with the great uncut.

Circumcision rates in the U.S. are declining, but according to the World Health Organization, about 75 percent of men are foreskin free. By extension, that means that there are quite a number of women who may not have a lot of experience with the great uncut. If you've never been with an uncircumcised guy, there is often some hesitation. Will his penis look a lot different? Will his body feel or respond differently when you play? Is he more sensitive to touch?

If he is a cool person and sexy to you, I assure you his cock will rock, with or without foreskin. So don’t get hung up (so to speak!) on these differences. To be honest, if he does have foreskin, you may have even more incentive to explore with him. Here are three reasons why.

Anatomically More Responsive

Almost every circumcised guy agrees that the most sensitive area on his penis is the frenulum, or the underside of the head of his cock, right where it meets the shaft. Don’t believe me? Just try circling your tongue here and watch him light up with pleasure.

Men also report the entire underside of the penis to be more responsive than the top or sides. Why? Because when he is soft (which is most of the time), the top and sides of his shaft and head touch his clothing and get sensation. But the frenulum and underside of the shaft are protected from this sensation because they sit against warm skin all day. Consequently, the nerve endings are closer to the surface and more responsive.

If he is uncircumcised, the entire head of his penis is protected in that same way. That makes it more sensitive to every touch. So, an uncircumcised man's response to touch tends to be amplified and easier to read.

Hands-On Fun

The No.1 thing most women do wrong when giving a circumcised guy a hand job is using a dry hand. When playing solo, guys will use any kind of lube available. Their favorite lube is usually saliva. Often they grow fond of using other products like hand lotion, baby oil and even hair conditioner. (I recommend using silicone lube. It’s perfect for any skin-on-skin contact, like hand jobs. It also has no taste and no smell so it’s perfect if you are using it in conjunction with your mouth.)

Uncut guys are different. When he is soft you will be able to see the "turtle neck" of skin that covers the head of his penis. He’ll look sort of pointed at the tip, where a cut guy will look rounded. When they have an erection, circumcised and uncircumcised guys look pretty much the same. The great thing about that extra skin is that as his erection grows, it provides a lot more play in his shaft. Your hand will glide in a nice, smooth pumping action with or without lube. This means you can be more spontaneous and playful with your hands on him.

If your guy does not have foreskin and you want more play in his shaft, check out a masturbation sleeve. It will simulate that same sensation.

Playful Penetration

Many women report penetration to be easier and more enjoyable with uncircumcised guys for much the same reason hand jobs are easier. It’s the gliding action the foreskin provides.

His erectile tissue glides more freely as he thrusts, while his foreskin cuts down on friction, making penetration smoother and more pleasurable for both partners. With a circumcised guy, that friction can cause microscopic tears in the sensitive vaginal tissue and may leave a woman irritated, inflamed and more vulnerable to infections.

The other issue with circumcised guys is how the length of his shaft withdraws with each thrust. He is actually bringing the female’s natural lubricants outside her body and allowing them to dissipate faster. In essence, uncircumcised guys deliver smoother, longer bouts of play without needing as much synthetic lubricant as a circumcised guy might require.

Of course, if is this a problem for you, it can easily be solved with some good lube. Regardless of whether your guy is circumcised or not, no matter how wet you may or may not be by nature, I strongly believe lube is awesome. It protects your skin, and sets you up for longer, healthier bouts of play.

Is One Better Than the Other?

No matter what your gender, size or shape, sex is always what you make it. And honestly, the differences between circumcised and uncircumcised guys are subtle. So if the guy appeals to you, I say hop on that thing. Circumcised or not, he might be just the one you’re looking for.

Have You Been Naughty Enough for a Spanking?

Growing up, hearing the threat of a spanking was enough to scare most of us into good behavior.  As an adult, that threat is likely to push our bad behavior enough to actually get the spanking.  If you have never been spanked, then my advice is 'don't knock it till you try it'.  The combination of light pain and relinquishment of control for the receiver is thrilling.  The total control and issuance of punishment for the spanker is exciting and empowering.  Whichever end you choose to be on is definitely an experience worth trying in my opinion.  

Since spanking sexually is quite different from what most of us are used to, I found a great article on Tantus that explains the skill...

HOW TO SPANK AS EXPLAINED BY YOUR BEST FRIEND

-by Metis Black 

Spanking is not an unskilled art. Many write about it in books, flirt with it in social media posts, but recently I've realized how rare it is to find someone who really knows how to spank. 

A few smacks on the ass does not make a spanking. A good spanking session can last up to 2 or 3 hours. Usually combined with some fingering- and broken up by some rearranging of positions and use of other tools, sometimes with a crescendo to full contact sex. 

Tools often come into the arena. Some are easy to wield, like paddles and straps. Some are more advanced. I just marvel when watching experts who know the proper use of these toys, like canes and Dragons Tails... but this is a beginners lesson. 

Like most givers (tops or spankers), I know from experience that if you've never been spanked correctly you don't know how it should be done. I'm going to attempt to give you the verbal steps. 

First, and most importantly, when you begin a traditional spanking of your friends behind, you cup the hand. You do this for several reasons Foremost is that the hand needs to last the duration of the spanking. Trust me; if you want your hand to hurt let someone bite it! Don't waste the pain on giving the spanking. You could be causing nerve damage. 

A cupped hand also has more control over the force or gentleness with which it strikes. You want variation during a spanking. As a very special recipient, you don’t want to feel like it is predictable- you want to lose yourself to this other person's will and domination. 

The cupping also of course makes the best sound! 

Secondly, a spanking is very much regionalized. Think of the ass as divided into zones. Each cheek should be warmed up with light yet firm smacks. No one should be given a WHACK without having first given a warm up. Think of it as foreplay. 

You want to vary your hand placement of the surface of each cheek so that the whole ass has been warmed and neither cheek has missed any of the warm up. 

So we have a firm, basic, cupped handed warm up. Where attention has been given to both cheeks- just like breasts they need equal attention. The most sensitive part of the ass is at the inner thigh. To get close to the genitalia is to get close to nirvana. 

When spanking a male though- be careful of those balls hanging down. It's been my experience that very few men really like having their balls spanked (feel free to refute this). 

After you have the area warm and colored, mix up the impact strength. Go light and then hard and then light again. Creating variation is the key to a great spanking. It’s just as important as moving about the edges of the bulls eye. You don't want to just hit one point over and over, and you don't want to feel just one predictable pounding. 

A paddle, like the Tantus Thwack or Pelt, is perfect for use during a spanking warm up. The flexibility of the silicone paddles makes it very simple to get repetitive motions and it’s oh so easy on the hand.

With Wham Bam, you have more leverage for long, stingy paddling. And Snap Strap is going to feel more like a belt, with its thin flexible form. The thinner the tool, the more sting it has.

The benefit with these Tantus Paddles is that they are 100% Ultra-Premium Silicone. Instead of dampening sensation, like leather, the silicone transmits that energy. They can be also be thoroughly sterilized by boiling, bleaching or putting in the dishwasher. With a little care, they will last a lifetime.

Remember as spanker, you are responsible for your partner’s sensual experience. You want light patting with a paddle to begin with and then start with a few medium taps. A hard whack is only for someone who is warmed up and consents to more otherwise that one whack may be the last you get to ever give them.

Spank with confidence and with care. 


Now that you have had a short lesson, it is time to gather your tools (aka paddles).  Some of the paddles we offer include the following:

Fluffy Heart Paddle

Enjoy the sensual delight of the soft plush fur side or flip over and take a walk on the wild side with a firm slap from the black leather side. 10' x 5'

Pink Quilted Heart Paddle

Let your sweetheart know who's boss with this supple heart-shaped paddle. Covered in silky-soft satin and quilted for extra comfort, it's soft enough to let them know you care but firm enough to get your point across.

Designer Paddle II

Explore your dominant or submissive side!With the Designer Paddle II, one crack of the Paddle and your lover will know who is in charge. It Hurts so Good! Explore kinky bedroom fun with this firm, stinging paddle.  This spanking paddle is made of stiff black leather accented with faux crocodile patterns and silver tone studs. A looped wrist strap keeps the handle in the user's hand, even if things get wild.  Length: 12 inches, Width: 5 inches.

Furry Heart Paddle

Explore your dominant or submissive side with the Furry Heart Paddle. One crack of the paddle and your lover will know who's in charge. It hurts so good! Length: 10", Width: 7".

Blush XOXO Paddle

Our Blush XOXO Paddle is a sexy way to truly leave your mark. The paddle has two sides to let you pick your pleasure...administer playful punishment with the smooth side or use the XOXO side with special cutouts that leave their shape on the skin! Made of leather free vinyl, this slender paddle is a great toybox addition for vegans or those who dislike leather bondage gear. A special hanging loop at the end can be fastened around the wrist for secure play. Special features: leather free, cut out impression style paddle. Personal pleasure paddle measures 12.5 inches long by 2.25 inches wide.

The Best Part of Waking Up

Good morning loves!  As I wake up on this bitterly cold morning, I have a question that comes to mind.  How do you start your morning - sex or coffee?

In my experience, men tend to be more sex crazed in the early morning hours than women but that may just be my own personal preferences.

Being the research fanatic I am, I Googled this question and am kind of surprised by the answer I found.  A new study by Le Meridien found that more than half (53%) prefer a wake-up call of coffee versus sex.  You can read more about the study HERE.  Interesting... 

Like the Foldgers commercial used to say... the best part of waking up...

Well... is what in your opinion?