I wanted to update you all on what is going on here at Omni Lust...
I'm sure you have noticed that posts have been scarce the last few weeks. No need to worry, things are about to pick back up. I have been in the process of switching to another host and redesigning the whole blog. It has been exhausting and exciting! I expect to launch it within the next few days, so get ready.
At the TMI Tuesday bar someone walks up to you and utters the following lines, Tell us how you would respond. (Let me start by saying that I am NOT a fan of pick up lines... but these were fun.)
1. Would you like to fake an orgasm with me tonight?
I'm not going to waste my time getting undressed if I have to fake it... and no one fakes with me, I deliver.
2. Did you just fart because you are blowing me away?
Ugh... gross. That definitely won't get you laid.
3. You’re hot. I’m ugly. Let’s make average babies. (Would you accept?)
I don't think so...
4. I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.
Hmmm... that doesn't sound like such a bad idea. (This one would warrant a lip bite & grin.)
5. You must work at Subway, ’cause you just gave me a footlong.
I would probably roll my eyes and walk away on this one.
6. You look like a hard worker, I have an opening you can fill.
So you like anal too?
7. I don’t feel good, I think I need a shot of penis-illin.
Poor baby... I'm not packing though.
8. If I told you I worked for UPS, would you let me handle your package?
Bahahaha... only if you are in uniform.
Bonus: Belly up to the bar. What’s your pleasure? Which onedrink would you order and why?
Give me an After Sex... it sounds smooth and relaxing. A good choice after a long hard day.
Slippery NippleNo one can miss the innuendo in this drink’s name. It is comprised of equal parts Bailey’s Irish Cream and butterscotch schnapps. There are many different drink names that start with ‘Slippery’, most contain either Bailey’s Irish Cream or butterscotch schnapps.
After SexThis drink is made with vodka, crème de bananas, and orange juice.
Leg SpreaderNot for the faint of heart, there is nothing but liquor in this drink. It is made of four equal parts of nothing but alcohol: tequila, vodka, gin, and rum. Proceed with caution!
All Night LongThe inference in this name is probably what most people wish for, but one or two or these will have you passed out on the floor all night long. It contains sweet and sour mix, coconut rum, Kahlua, crème de cacao, and pineapple juice.
Sloe Comfortable ScrewThere are many drinks that play upon the pronunciation of sloe gin—pronounced slow gin. The rest of the name is a pun on all the other ingredients as well, to create a name that is as suggestive as you could want. Sloe gin for ‘slow,’ Southern Comfort for ‘comfortable,’ and orange juice and vodka for ‘screw’—as in a Screwdriver.
Hmmm... I suppose there is such as thing as too much sex. If you can't maintain your responsibilities because you can't stop having sex long enough, then that would qualify as too much. The lesson in this: make time in your busy sex life for normal life tasks (eating, sleeping, showering, etc).
2. According to the Kinsey Institute, 18-29 year olds have sex an average of 112 times per year, 30-39 year olds an average of 86 times per year, and 40-49 year olds an average of 69 times per year (how appropriate!)
a. Which group of averages would you prefer to belong?
The 18-29 year old group!
b. Based on your age (if listed), find your group above. Would you say you are well below, pretty close to or high above your group’s average for having sex per year?
I am in the 18-29 year old group. Generally I would say that I am high above my group's average. However, this year I am WAYYYYY below it. :-/
3. Swinging (defined here)–have you tried it? Will you try it? Do you hope/wish to try it before you die?
I haven't tried it, though I am intrigued by the concept. I like the idea of swinging. When I am emotionally involved in a relationship though, I become a greedy bitch. So I don't mind being shared, but I am not willing to share my partner. Talk about double standards, huh?
4. What is “having sex”? According to YOU and prior to this TMI Tuesday did you consider:
– Masturbation as having sex? No... though I do sometimes refer to it as sex with myself.
– Performing oral sex as having sex? Depends... I guess.
5. When was the last time you received oral sex?
Over ten months ago was the last time I saw ANY action... separation & divorce is a bitch!