How to Talk with Your Kids about Sex

How to Talk with Your Kids about Sex

January 26, 2012  By:  Ducky DooLittle

Whether you like it or not, you are a sexual role model for the young people in your life. Their eager minds seek to understand the world around them. When the issues are not articulated for them, they learn through the subtleties, like body language and watching the interactions of those around them. And even worse, they learn from the Internet, television and through conversations with their friends. If you don’t step up and let them know they are safe to ask you anything – you are leaving them in the hands of strangers and a life of learning by way of their own mistakes.

Open the door and let them know you will not be angry or embarrass them for asking questions.  At what age you open this door really depends upon your child. Some kids are very inquisitive at an early age while others just need to know they can ask if the need arises. Remind them every once in a while that they can ask you anything. Sometimes they may be on the edge of a precarious situation or thinking about something they heard and your gentle nudge may remind them that they are not alone.

When are kids having sex? It depends upon the kids. Some kids start very early. Some wait until marriage. Lots of kids have explicit conversations about sex. Studies show that nearly half of all high school aged kids are engaging in sexual activity. Of those who are sexually active, 2/3 have had more than one partner. Good, honest, sweet, smart, wonderful kids will be genuinely interested in exploring sex. Be ready for it.

Another reason you should want to be their main resource is that the world has a funny way of compartmentalize sex. We do this through subtle attitudes (like “boys will be boys” and the shaming of girl who express interest in sex) and by way of the media (sex sells). And those are just a couple of examples. These ideas do not always coincide with what young people are taught at home and/or their place of worship. It can become very difficult for a young person to understand how sex can affect self-esteem, relationships, and health. If they are taught that only dirty or nasty people have sex, then how do they justify that the same acts can bond a relationship or be the source of a new life? These are complex issues that cannot be over looked.

Part of the problem is that many young people believe the solid definition of sex is intercourse. People (young and old) do not recognize that sex is a way of life, not a particular act. Sex can be the energy exchanged while looking at each other, eating a meal together (with out the TV on) or lying on the lawn and looking at the stars with your lover. But sex does incorporate many acts, like heavy petting, oral sex, intercourse and anal sex. Many young people will have oral sex with multiple partners but still identify as a virgin. (And not understanding that oral sex can leave them vulnerable to STDs.) It’s important for you to help them develop a clear understanding of what sex is and what kinds of behaviors may require safer sex materials and birth control.

Some people are dismayed that schools are or are not teaching sexual health. Some people are upset over the content of what the schools may be teaching. Personally I feel like it would be great f the school could find a curriculum that suited everyone, but realistically I don’t think that is possible. Every family has their own culture, religion, ethics and moral standards. Ultimately it’s always up to you to teach the children in your family.

I highly recommend having an age appropriate sexuality book on your books shelves at home or simply give the books to your kids.

Deal with It! A Whole New Approach to Your Body, Brain and Life as a gURL is awesome. It’s a cute, hip, age appropriate book that is inclusive of emotions, relationships, bliss, excitement, fears, anxiety, spirituality, anatomy and lots of other nitty gritty facts and details young people need to know but would never think to ask. Good stuff.

We-Vibe: The Ultimate Versatile Buzz

How versatile is your vibrator?  I wanted to share a little info about the We-Vibe II to start your day... this is an AMAZING product! It is great for solo play & can be worn while having sex with a partner! 

This vibe is C shaped and fits in the palm of your hand.  It is the first-ever dual vibrator that can be worn while making love. It weighs only 2 ounces, has 9 exciting modes of vibration, and has two ultra-quiet powerful motors at each end. It is hands free, strap free and wireless, and is rechargeable.  The We-Vibe II is created from 100% medical grade silicone that is soft, comfortable and easy to use. It is completely non-porous too, so you don't have to worry about bacteria soaking into the soft surface.  This makes it safe to use vaginally and anally as long as you use an antibacterial toy cleaner to wash it before switching from anal to vaginal use.  The We-Vibe II is Phthalate free as well, meaning it is body safe. 

So just how is this so versatile you ask... let me tell you.  This is a great toy for solo play or any mix of partners, gay or straight.  Here are some of the many ways:

• Couple's toy during intercourse (vulva & penis or vulva & dildo) - This is what the We-Vibe II was primarily designed for.  The smaller rigid end is worn about 1.5" inside the vagina and sits against the G-spot.  The larger end is worn outside the body and sits against the clitoris.  Your partner's penis, fingers, or a dildo can go inside the vagina, under the vibe - this gives you both a great buzz!  The man's penis gets vibrations on the sensitive tip, the woman's G-spot gets tapped with each thrust, and the clitoris gets hands free vibrations the whole time.  

• Vibrating penis/dildo ring (all) - To try this, hang the We-Vibe in an upside-down U shape over the base of a penis or dildo.  This provides pleasant vibrations along the base and shaft of the penis and with each thrust, the lips of the vulva are in contact with both vibrating ends.

• Masturbation & Foreplay (female) - Use the larger end of the vibe as a handle and move the smaller end in and out of the vagina in a stroking motion.  This stimulates the sensitive nerve endings at the opening of the vagina.  The larger end can be used for clitoral massage.  You can also use both ends of the We-Vibe to stimulate the clitoris - one on each side and rub them together or use both ends in a gentle pinching motion to stimulate the inner lips.

• Masturbation & Foreplay (male) - Using lots of water-based lubricant (try Sliquid), place the We-Vibe on either side of the penis and stroke the penis shaft up and down on your favorite vibration setting.  You can also rub the vibe in a circular motion around or underneath the coronal ridge (the ridge of the head of the penis).

• Anal toy (all) - This vibe can be used for beginners, as well as the more experienced in anal play.  Using the smaller end of the vibe inside the anus stimulates the many sensitive nerve endings at the opening of the anus (this is true for all genders).  Try moving the toy gently in and out using the larger end as a handle or leave it in place.  For males, the smaller end can be worn inside the anus and the larger end can be placed underneath the balls for a unique vibrating sensation.  

• Oral sex (female) - For a multitude of sensations, wear the larger end of the vibe inside the vagina and the smaller end inside the anus.  Now all hands and tongues are free to give and receive oral sex!  If you are worried about getting moisture inside the charging port, a condom can be put on top of the larger end.

• Oral sex (male) - Place the We-Vibe II on either side of the balls - on the low setting.  Now you are ready to receive amazing head!  You can also try this with the smaller end inserted into the anus and the larger end under the balls while receiving head for extra stimulation.

• Enhanced anal sex (female/male or female solo) - Wear the vibe as described in 'couple's toy during intercourse' - with the smaller end inside the vagina and the larger end on the clitoris.  Now, anal sex can be enjoyed with a penis or a dildo.  If anal sex is with a partner, the penis and balls will feel some of the vibrations too!

• Under strap-on harness (female) - Wear the vibe as described in 'couple's toy during intercourse' - with the smaller end inside the vagina and the larger end on the clitoris.  Now, your favorite strap-on harness can be worn as normal (leaving the We-Vibe) under the harness.  The harness should still fit almost flush with your pubic mound because of the vibe's low profile.  (Try it with our Bend Over Beginner Set, Bend Over Intermediate Set, or Vibrating 3-Speed Strap On.)

• Vibrating panties without the panty (female) - Do you want to have vibrating pleasure while out on the town... with no one even knowing?  The We-Vibe is so quiet and sleek that you can wear it with the smaller end inside the vagina and the larger end on the clitoris while out for dinner, the movies... the possibilities are endless!  Make sure the vibe has been charging for a full 24-hours prior in order to get the maximum battery life during your adventure.

• Double clitoral fun (two females) - This is a great way for two women to spice things up... one vagina and two clitorises at once!  While on the bottom, one partner wears the vibe as described in 'couple's toy during intercourse' - with the smaller end inside the vagina and the larger end on the clitoris.  The other partner straddles on top or facing side by side.  When the clitorises are pressed together with the We-Vibe between, both partners get amazing vibrations.  Try moving back and forth... rotating your hips in small circles... get creative!

Have you tried the We-Vibe II?  What creative ways have you found to use it?

Sensual Sunday: Be Silly

Friends with Benefits

Many have tried... but how many people are able to actually be friends with benefits and not get emotions involved?  Is is truly possible?  Many people say yes.

I found an article by the New York Times about a study on this (it appeared in an issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior).  One of the points it makes is that this type of arrangement brings its own stress with it.  This stress was mainly cited as the fear that one of the people involved would develop more emotional feelings or they wouldn't be reciprocated if the other person did.

The article stated "One-tenth of these relationships went on to become full-scale romances, the study found.  About a third stopped the sex and remained friends, and one in four eventually broke it off - the sex and the friendship.  The rest continued as friends-with-benefits relationships."

My own experience with this arrangement was actually a good one.  I have to say it went better then a lot of my relationships actually.  Now don't laugh... I have issues with emotions sometimes.  :-)

Have you ever had a 'friend with benefits'?  How did it work out for you?

Vibrator Treats Common Menopause Symptom

The Huffington Post  |  By Anthonia Akitunde

Hot flashes, night sweats, shifts in moods... women suffering from menopause are well aware of the symptoms. But one of the more embarrassing symptoms is vaginal dryness.

"Just like when women first get their periods, menopause is a big life change," said Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Yale University School of Medicine. "The lack of estrogen in the body decreases blood flow to the pelvic region. As a result, this can cause vaginal dryness and vaginal atrophy, or a weakening of the muscle tone in the pelvic area that can lead to sexual dysfunction and painful sex."

Vaginal dryness is a common complaint for women during and after menopause. To treat the irritating and embarrassing problem, doctors usually prescribe topical estrogen creams and gels that can be applied to the vagina for lubrication. But Dr. Minkin has a different, non-hormonal and slightly unconventional solution: vibrators.

Here, Dr. Minkin explains the benefits of using a vibrator to treat vaginal dryness.

How can a vibrator help with this common menopause symptom?

Vibrators improve reproductive and pelvic health help by stimulating pelvic blood flow, which increases vaginal moisture and boosts sexual response, all of which making sex (with or with a partner) more enjoyable. Like any muscle, the vagina is best kept healthy with regular exercise -- it’s the “use it, or lose it” mentality. Deterioration is particularly common as more middle-age or older women find themselves in situations where they aren't sexually active (single, divorced, widowed or aren't having regular sex with partners).

Therapeutically, frequent vibrator use can prevent and ward off conditions such as painful vaginal dryness and atrophy. Within a month, women should notice a difference (even past menopause).

Can you walk us through how you diagnose your patients?

I always talk to my patients about her sex life -- with or without a partner -- during exams. Let’s say I have a post-menopausal patient who is experiencing a lot of vaginal dryness and is not sexually active. I’ll recommend she try the We-Vibe (pictured above) along with lubricant or with estrogen, if she’s comfortable. During the follow up visit, I’ve noticed patients will frequently tell me they don’t need the estrogen as much because increased activity via [a vibrator] provides more moisture. While vibrators can be used with or without estrogen, we work to find the best combination to keep women healthy and happy.

How have women you've treated responded to this treatment?

It’s been a very positive response so far. At least half of women I speak with are comfortable using vibrators. Of course I always work within a patient’s comfort zone, but my main goal as their doctor is to provide a variety of treatment options. The reality is, vibrators are a great, no-side effect solution to an issue that millions of women suffer from. My goal is to educate women that vibrators aren't something to be embarrassed about -- not only are they fun, but they also help women stay comfortable and happy during this sometimes uncomfortable stage in life.

How often do you recommend women use a vibrator for treatment?

I recommend my patients use a vibrator three to four times a week, but as Mae West said, “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!” Also, I suggest patients use lubricants along with the vibrator since the body-safe product is made of medical-grade silicone.

How to Buy & Size a Cock Ring

What man doesn't want a longer, stronger, bigger erection with a more explosive orgasm?

A cock ring can give you just that and add a boost of confidence to your performance.  This is probably why they are so popular, even among those who wouldn't normally be inclined to try sex toys.  It is like a push-up bra for a man's package, meaning it causes it to sit forward and up.

If you are new to cock rings, I suggest starting with a stretchy material and working your way up to a more solid ring.  Getting a proper fit is essential when using a more solid ring.  A ring that is too loose will be ineffective.  A ring that is too tight can be painful and cause lock-up (more on that in a moment).  Trimmed or shaved pubic hair eliminates any pulled hair while wearing the ring.

Cock Ring Sizing Chart

5.50" = 1 3/4" ring
5.89" = 1 7/8" ring
6.28" = 2" ring


What size is the right size?

To measure your body, use a piece of string.  Loop it behind your balls and bring both ends of the string to the front of where your penis meets your abdomen.  Find a comfortable amount of snugness and mark the area where the two sides of string meet with a marker.  Measure the string in inches (this will be your circumference) and divide it by 3.14.  That number is your diameter and how cock rings are sized.

How does a cock ring work?

A cock ring works by restricting the blood flow in and out of the penis.  This causes the penis to feel harder and bigger.  It also causes orgasm to be delayed and more intense.

How does a cock ring get put on?

It is best to put a cock ring on a flaccid or semi-erect penis.  First, put lube on the body (around the balls and base of penis) and cock ring.  Next, gently push one ball at a time through the ring.  Then carefully push the semi-erect penis through the ring.  Once in place, you can go about your regular sex play.  Some men prefer to wear a cock ring over their balls and penis, while others prefer to wear it just at the base of their shaft.  How you choose to wear your cock ring is personal preference.  I encourage you to try both and decide for yourself.

How long can a cock ring be worn?

The average wear time for a cock ring is about 20 minutes.  You shouldn't sleep (or pass out on those drunken nights) with a cock ring on because it can cause painful bruising.  If you feel pain or numbness while wearing a cock ring, then remove it.

What if I can't get the ring off my body and my erection won't go down?

Here is where we will talk about "lock-up".  This term refers to when a man has a cock ring on, his penis becomes engorged, he freaks out and can't get it off.  A man's heart rate goes way up when this happens.  Often times, this leads to frantic calls and emergency room trips.  If this happens to you, RELAX.  I know, easier said then done in this situation.  By relaxing and lowering the heart rate, the cock ring should be able to be removed without a trip to the hospital.  Some things to help lower the heart rate could be a cold shower, smoking a cigarette, or meditating.  If using a cock ring made of a stretchy material or a silicone ring, scissors can be used to snip the ring for easy removal.

Types of Rings to Consider

Silicone gives the feel of a solid ring but can be snipped when needed.  These types of rings are a great alternative to more solid rings, especially for beginners.

I recommend avoiding chrome rings.  Much like your chrome bumper, with repeated exposure to heat and sweat, they do degrade.

Cheap vibrating rings, which can often be found in your local pharmacy, are generally disposable.  They have a very short battery life of about 20-40 minutes.  These are perfect for a cheap date, but not for a lasting cock ring relationship.  Cock rings with a vibrating bullet attachment are a great option to get the same buzz in a lasting way.

I recently had the joy of attending a training with sex educator Ducky DooLittle... I have to say she is amazing!  Since hearing her present the training, I have been greedily indulging in tons of her articles.  I came across this one today and couldn't resist sharing.  Enjoy!

Sex and Circumcision: A Lady's Guide

By Ducky Doolittle, April 5, 2013

Takeaway: About 75 percent of men are foreskin free, which means that there are quite a number of women who may not have a lot of experience with the great uncut.

Circumcision rates in the U.S. are declining, but according to the World Health Organization, about 75 percent of men are foreskin free. By extension, that means that there are quite a number of women who may not have a lot of experience with the great uncut. If you've never been with an uncircumcised guy, there is often some hesitation. Will his penis look a lot different? Will his body feel or respond differently when you play? Is he more sensitive to touch?

If he is a cool person and sexy to you, I assure you his cock will rock, with or without foreskin. So don’t get hung up (so to speak!) on these differences. To be honest, if he does have foreskin, you may have even more incentive to explore with him. Here are three reasons why.

Anatomically More Responsive

Almost every circumcised guy agrees that the most sensitive area on his penis is the frenulum, or the underside of the head of his cock, right where it meets the shaft. Don’t believe me? Just try circling your tongue here and watch him light up with pleasure.

Men also report the entire underside of the penis to be more responsive than the top or sides. Why? Because when he is soft (which is most of the time), the top and sides of his shaft and head touch his clothing and get sensation. But the frenulum and underside of the shaft are protected from this sensation because they sit against warm skin all day. Consequently, the nerve endings are closer to the surface and more responsive.

If he is uncircumcised, the entire head of his penis is protected in that same way. That makes it more sensitive to every touch. So, an uncircumcised man's response to touch tends to be amplified and easier to read.

Hands-On Fun

The No.1 thing most women do wrong when giving a circumcised guy a hand job is using a dry hand. When playing solo, guys will use any kind of lube available. Their favorite lube is usually saliva. Often they grow fond of using other products like hand lotion, baby oil and even hair conditioner. (I recommend using silicone lube. It’s perfect for any skin-on-skin contact, like hand jobs. It also has no taste and no smell so it’s perfect if you are using it in conjunction with your mouth.)

Uncut guys are different. When he is soft you will be able to see the "turtle neck" of skin that covers the head of his penis. He’ll look sort of pointed at the tip, where a cut guy will look rounded. When they have an erection, circumcised and uncircumcised guys look pretty much the same. The great thing about that extra skin is that as his erection grows, it provides a lot more play in his shaft. Your hand will glide in a nice, smooth pumping action with or without lube. This means you can be more spontaneous and playful with your hands on him.

If your guy does not have foreskin and you want more play in his shaft, check out a masturbation sleeve. It will simulate that same sensation.

Playful Penetration

Many women report penetration to be easier and more enjoyable with uncircumcised guys for much the same reason hand jobs are easier. It’s the gliding action the foreskin provides.

His erectile tissue glides more freely as he thrusts, while his foreskin cuts down on friction, making penetration smoother and more pleasurable for both partners. With a circumcised guy, that friction can cause microscopic tears in the sensitive vaginal tissue and may leave a woman irritated, inflamed and more vulnerable to infections.

The other issue with circumcised guys is how the length of his shaft withdraws with each thrust. He is actually bringing the female’s natural lubricants outside her body and allowing them to dissipate faster. In essence, uncircumcised guys deliver smoother, longer bouts of play without needing as much synthetic lubricant as a circumcised guy might require.

Of course, if is this a problem for you, it can easily be solved with some good lube. Regardless of whether your guy is circumcised or not, no matter how wet you may or may not be by nature, I strongly believe lube is awesome. It protects your skin, and sets you up for longer, healthier bouts of play.

Is One Better Than the Other?

No matter what your gender, size or shape, sex is always what you make it. And honestly, the differences between circumcised and uncircumcised guys are subtle. So if the guy appeals to you, I say hop on that thing. Circumcised or not, he might be just the one you’re looking for.

Squeaky Clean

They get lots of love, playtime, lube, and attention... but how do they get clean?

Thankfully, it isn't hard to clean up after playtime and keep your toys in great, squeaky clean condition.

Boil 

Boil for 5-10 minutes then lay out to dry.  This works on toys that are made of silicone, metal, glass, pyrex, or stainless steel can be boiled.  Do not boil toys with a battery compartment or any electrical system.

Bleach 

Soak your toys in a solution of 10% bleach and 90% water for about an hour.  Be sure to rinse well and let dry before storing.  Do not soak toys with a battery compartment or any electrical system.

Dishwasher

Put your toys in the top rack of the dishwasher and let it do the work.  Don't use dishwashing detergent because it is too harsh.  The hot water will do the trick.  Do not use on toys with a battery compartment or any electrical system.

Toy Cleaner

Apply to toy and wipe off with soft cloth.

Some great ones can be found at my website under the Play Safely tab. 

Antibacterial Soap & Hot Water

This works on all types of toys.  Be sure to use antibacterial soap and hot water.  Rinse well and allow to dry before storing.

Be sure to store your toys in a cool, dry place away from direct sunlight.  Always remove any batteries before storing.  Also, never store silicone toys touching (they might melt together or bleed colors).

Happy playtime loves!

Have You Been Naughty Enough for a Spanking?

Growing up, hearing the threat of a spanking was enough to scare most of us into good behavior.  As an adult, that threat is likely to push our bad behavior enough to actually get the spanking.  If you have never been spanked, then my advice is 'don't knock it till you try it'.  The combination of light pain and relinquishment of control for the receiver is thrilling.  The total control and issuance of punishment for the spanker is exciting and empowering.  Whichever end you choose to be on is definitely an experience worth trying in my opinion.  

Since spanking sexually is quite different from what most of us are used to, I found a great article on Tantus that explains the skill...

HOW TO SPANK AS EXPLAINED BY YOUR BEST FRIEND

-by Metis Black 

Spanking is not an unskilled art. Many write about it in books, flirt with it in social media posts, but recently I've realized how rare it is to find someone who really knows how to spank. 

A few smacks on the ass does not make a spanking. A good spanking session can last up to 2 or 3 hours. Usually combined with some fingering- and broken up by some rearranging of positions and use of other tools, sometimes with a crescendo to full contact sex. 

Tools often come into the arena. Some are easy to wield, like paddles and straps. Some are more advanced. I just marvel when watching experts who know the proper use of these toys, like canes and Dragons Tails... but this is a beginners lesson. 

Like most givers (tops or spankers), I know from experience that if you've never been spanked correctly you don't know how it should be done. I'm going to attempt to give you the verbal steps. 

First, and most importantly, when you begin a traditional spanking of your friends behind, you cup the hand. You do this for several reasons Foremost is that the hand needs to last the duration of the spanking. Trust me; if you want your hand to hurt let someone bite it! Don't waste the pain on giving the spanking. You could be causing nerve damage. 

A cupped hand also has more control over the force or gentleness with which it strikes. You want variation during a spanking. As a very special recipient, you don’t want to feel like it is predictable- you want to lose yourself to this other person's will and domination. 

The cupping also of course makes the best sound! 

Secondly, a spanking is very much regionalized. Think of the ass as divided into zones. Each cheek should be warmed up with light yet firm smacks. No one should be given a WHACK without having first given a warm up. Think of it as foreplay. 

You want to vary your hand placement of the surface of each cheek so that the whole ass has been warmed and neither cheek has missed any of the warm up. 

So we have a firm, basic, cupped handed warm up. Where attention has been given to both cheeks- just like breasts they need equal attention. The most sensitive part of the ass is at the inner thigh. To get close to the genitalia is to get close to nirvana. 

When spanking a male though- be careful of those balls hanging down. It's been my experience that very few men really like having their balls spanked (feel free to refute this). 

After you have the area warm and colored, mix up the impact strength. Go light and then hard and then light again. Creating variation is the key to a great spanking. It’s just as important as moving about the edges of the bulls eye. You don't want to just hit one point over and over, and you don't want to feel just one predictable pounding. 

A paddle, like the Tantus Thwack or Pelt, is perfect for use during a spanking warm up. The flexibility of the silicone paddles makes it very simple to get repetitive motions and it’s oh so easy on the hand.

With Wham Bam, you have more leverage for long, stingy paddling. And Snap Strap is going to feel more like a belt, with its thin flexible form. The thinner the tool, the more sting it has.

The benefit with these Tantus Paddles is that they are 100% Ultra-Premium Silicone. Instead of dampening sensation, like leather, the silicone transmits that energy. They can be also be thoroughly sterilized by boiling, bleaching or putting in the dishwasher. With a little care, they will last a lifetime.

Remember as spanker, you are responsible for your partner’s sensual experience. You want light patting with a paddle to begin with and then start with a few medium taps. A hard whack is only for someone who is warmed up and consents to more otherwise that one whack may be the last you get to ever give them.

Spank with confidence and with care. 


Now that you have had a short lesson, it is time to gather your tools (aka paddles).  Some of the paddles we offer include the following:

Fluffy Heart Paddle

Enjoy the sensual delight of the soft plush fur side or flip over and take a walk on the wild side with a firm slap from the black leather side. 10' x 5'

Pink Quilted Heart Paddle

Let your sweetheart know who's boss with this supple heart-shaped paddle. Covered in silky-soft satin and quilted for extra comfort, it's soft enough to let them know you care but firm enough to get your point across.

Designer Paddle II

Explore your dominant or submissive side!With the Designer Paddle II, one crack of the Paddle and your lover will know who is in charge. It Hurts so Good! Explore kinky bedroom fun with this firm, stinging paddle.  This spanking paddle is made of stiff black leather accented with faux crocodile patterns and silver tone studs. A looped wrist strap keeps the handle in the user's hand, even if things get wild.  Length: 12 inches, Width: 5 inches.

Furry Heart Paddle

Explore your dominant or submissive side with the Furry Heart Paddle. One crack of the paddle and your lover will know who's in charge. It hurts so good! Length: 10", Width: 7".

Blush XOXO Paddle

Our Blush XOXO Paddle is a sexy way to truly leave your mark. The paddle has two sides to let you pick your pleasure...administer playful punishment with the smooth side or use the XOXO side with special cutouts that leave their shape on the skin! Made of leather free vinyl, this slender paddle is a great toybox addition for vegans or those who dislike leather bondage gear. A special hanging loop at the end can be fastened around the wrist for secure play. Special features: leather free, cut out impression style paddle. Personal pleasure paddle measures 12.5 inches long by 2.25 inches wide.

Pheromones... Nature's Magic?

If you were like me, then you have probably heard of pheromones before but may not know what exactly they do.  Let me take a moment to enlighten you on nature's little magic trick.

Here is Wikipedia's definition:

A pheromone (from Greek φέρω phero "to bear" and hormone, from Greek ὁρμή "impetus") is a secreted or excreted chemical factor that triggers a social response in members of the same species. Pheromones are chemicals capable of acting outside the body of the secreting individual to impact the behavior of the receiving individual.^[1] There are alarm pheromones, food trail pheromones, sex pheromones, and many others that affect behavior or physiology. 

Now let me break that down for you and explain better...  pheromones are a subliminal sexual attractant.  Sounds interesting huh?  

The way they work: 

• When you become aroused, your brain produces endorphins, which in turn produce pheromones
• Pheromones combine with individual body chemistry to lower your inhibitions, heighten your sense of arousal, and boost confidence
• They also enhance unique, individual scents - without compromising the scent of body lotions, perfumes, or colognes
• Pheromones are odorless, and because they waft through the air in the smallest traces, they're barely perceptible.  Although pheromones cannot be seen, heard, smelled, or touched, they secretly affect our biological processes, which in turn, stimulate our sexual drives and reproductive behaviors.  (ABC News, 2005)

What they are NOT:

• Pheromones are NOT a perfume
• Pheromones do not need to be used in abundance to produce the desired effect
• Pheromones are beneficial beyond the realm of sexuality - because they increase confidence levels, they can be used anytime one needs an extra boost

Scientific proof:

• Pheromones were always thought to exist only within animals
• Recent studies have proven that humans also produce pheromones as a way of attracting sex partners - in this respect they are, on a biological level, a signal of mating
• Pheromones will have an opposite effect on persons of close biological relation - in this case, individuals will be repelled by the smell of a blood relative's enhanced pheromone production - essentially, proof they work!
• On March 21, 2002, ABC News reported that scientists at San Francisco State University found that women who had pheromone added to their perfume reported a more than 50% increase in sexual attention from men.  The study, which was published in the Journal of Physiology and Behavior, found that 74% of the women saw an overall increase in 3 or more of the following socio-sexual behaviors:  frequency of dates, kissing, heavy petting and affection, sexual intercourse, and sleeping closer to their partner.

Additional evidence:

• "Women in their 40s are not excreting the same level of pheromones they might have been when they were in their 20s and 30s.  Adding the pheromone to their perfume can be just the kick that restores some of what they thought they had lost."  (20/20 Puts Love Potions to the Test 12/09/05)  According to a recent report published in the London publication, The Independent, scientific research shows that by releasing female pheromones, women may trick men into believing that they are more attractive than they actually are.

Now men... don't stress.  This works for you too!  Pretty amazing how nature works huh?  The best part is that we can add this in for an added boost ourselves.  

Here are two really amazing pheromone products I recommend (they work for men & women):

Pure Instinct - A gender-friendly fragrance, specifically formulated to stimulate sexual appeal. Scented with essential oils and heavily laced with a strong concentration of high quality Pheromones. Apply for elevated confidence, enhanced mood and awakening of the senses. Wear daily as you would any fragrance. .5 oz bottle with glass wand applicator.

Love Connection - This gender-friendly fragrance is specifically formulated to stimulate sexual appeal. Our 'Secret Love Connection' is scented with essential oils and heavily laced with a strong concentration of high quality Pheromones. Apply for elevated confidence, enhanced mood, and awakening of the senses. This sexually attractive fragrance can be worn alone or with your other perfume...and the sexy scent that develops will be completely unique to you. Wear daily on your wrists, behind your ears, and on other pulse points as you would any fragrance. .33 oz bottle with roll-on applicator.

Have you tried pheromones before?  What are your thoughts?

The Best Part of Waking Up

Good morning loves!  As I wake up on this bitterly cold morning, I have a question that comes to mind.  How do you start your morning - sex or coffee?

In my experience, men tend to be more sex crazed in the early morning hours than women but that may just be my own personal preferences.

Being the research fanatic I am, I Googled this question and am kind of surprised by the answer I found.  A new study by Le Meridien found that more than half (53%) prefer a wake-up call of coffee versus sex.  You can read more about the study HERE.  Interesting... 

Like the Foldgers commercial used to say... the best part of waking up...

Well... is what in your opinion?

History of the Vibrator

Have you ever wondered how that vibrator first came about?  Well, here is a brief history for you...

45 BC—Cleopatra creates a buzz -Rumored to be the first woman to use a vibrator, Cleopatra orders a servant to hollow out a gourd and fill it with bees.  Confined to such a small space, the bees’ frantic movements vibrate the gourd enough to satisfy Egypt’s queen bee. 

1880—Things get steamy -With cases of “female hysteria” on the rise in America, the demand for medical pelvic massage skyrockets. Fatigued by servicing female patients by hand all day, doctors are relieved by George Taylor’s Manipulator—a clunky steam-powered massage apparatus.

1902—It’s electric  -Becoming just the fifth domestic appliance to be electrified, Hamilton Beach’s electric vibrator hits store shelves, graces the coveted pages of the Sears Roebuck catalogue and electrifies American consumers.

                                              


1968 -Tavel cuts the cord - Encino, California’s Jon H. Tavel marches out of the U.S. Patent Office with a patent for the first Cordless Vibrator for Use on the Human Body.  Requiring two batteries and featuring a rotation cap for adjusting speeds, Tavel’s battery-powered genius is yet to be replaced.

1998—Multiplying like rabbits  - After being featured in the Sex and the City episode “The Turtle and the Hare,” the rabbit vibrator, featuring a clitoral stimulator in the shape of rabbit’s ears, ushers in a new age of product innovation, consumer demand, and sexual openness, awareness and health.

It just goes to show that desiring pleasure, be it solo or with a partner, is nothing new.  What are your thoughts on this little history lesson?